I’m a Nurse, Solution Focused Life and Stress Management Coach and Entrepreneur.
Kathy Parlevliet, the Nurse who knows. Looking directly at pain and suffering, changes you. For awhile it is easier to just leave. But then something inside could start to talk to you. How would you feel in that moment of crisis?
As a nurse facing challenging life moments every day, it humbles me. Everyone has a different approach to coping. From not wanting to talk about it, to sobbing in my arms. Stepping into other people’s lives without overstepping, trying to support them if possible. It is such a sensitive and personal experience. As nurses sometimes it is a lot to carry around in our hearts.
Recently, I was faced to look into the eyes of a mother. Her son at age 37 is actively dying. Her family was meeting with the hospital ethics physician and myself. Being informed that nothing more can be done. And his suffering is an issue. So difficult to be apart of. Yet, as a mother, she just couldn’t believe what was being said. Her faith, and his strength was going to pull him through.
Having seen that look in countless eyes. Brings you to a deeper life moment for us. What if you don’t want to deal with this? How can you walk away without feeling guilty? Who can support them?
This conversation doesn’t have to be owned by you. You can defer to a social worker, case manager, charge nurse, and physicians. Although, through my own experiences physicians often aren’t as supportive as you want. We are with our patients and families 24 hours a day. MD’s maybe 30 minutes or less. Everyone has their own agenda. But, talking about the fact that someone needs to talk to them. Acknowledging the need. Asking who is available. And letting the patient or family know that they are being heard. We aren’t equipped to listen and solve these issues. But we do have a team!
Trying to release these feelings for us is critical. We have been told that nurses become numb to these situations. Sometimes a mental barrier, is needed. Not being 100% involved. Can help perspective. If we absorbed every tragedy that we see, our own life is affected. Nurses who go to patients’ funerals. That is tough. Loss is a part of life. Nursing is a job after all. This would not be an expectation. It is a personal choice.
If you are struggling with difficult conversations. I am here for you. TheRNcoach.com.
Let’s Talk Soon,
Kathy
© 2024 The Nurse Who Knows
